Tips for planning your wedding - what every bride needs to know

Looks like I take very looong holidays between one blogspot to another.maybe its a a feature of style I'm trying to come uP with..lol
I have been from one wedding to another..from one bridal party to another..lets just say that first quatre of this year has been weddingfull..I even travelled to Tanzania for a wedding..esh...Happened/privileged to be a bestmaid to a friend this past weekend and again will be a bestmaid at  another friends  in 20days time..who does that...will write an article on bestmaiding soon..watch this space..
Today I will write on wedding planning..btw i qualify to be a wedding planner(*self acclaimed)..try me!!I wont dissapoint,i promise..I sijui have 20+ wedding involvement experience and of course I together with hubby planned ours from A to Z..I CAN PROUDLY SAY,iT WAS QUITE THEE WEDDING..iT WAS  A SUCCES.GLORY TO God.story for another day..sooo on to wedding planning..

Not in any particular order but some tips to help you as you plan your big day.
a) Makeup and good hair is a must and it has to be very good. When planning a wedding, you need to ensure that you have your makeup and hair done different, don’t just do it yourself, hire a professional and see yourself looking like a celebrity for one day. Even if you are the type of girl that avoids wearing makeup, take risk and be that glowing bride for one day.please avoid being stingy..you will regret forever!
b) Lighting can break or make your pictures,I would know,Hubby is a professional photographer(www.picturethisstories.com) ensure that it is great. I have seen wedding pictures that suck and they really do, yes it’s not the photographer that was bad, it was their choice of lighting, a lot of brides tend to worry about venue pricing more than the lighting of their venue. You need to ensure that the place you would be exchanging your vows or celebrating your reception is well lit to allow for good photography. The beauty of good lighting can be well reflected in your pictures and everyone not just yourself will be able to tell the difference.
c) A good DJ that knows how to blend old school music with more contemporary ones based on your guest list type. In picking a perfect DJ for your dream wedding, I would say the first thing is to know your guest list, what type of guest are you expecting at your wedding, is it a pure African wedding or a diverse crowd, ensure that your DJ knows how to blend the music to flow in a particular order, you don’t want to have your guests confused during the dance routine, mix up the music and you would have guest talking about your party for years to come.
d) A good and friendly planner(if you are going the planner way) that you feel comfortable talking to at all times: if you see certain behaviours when interviewing them, it’s best not to hire them as your wedding planner, it’s as simple as that. Always ensure that your planner is pleasant and very informative about the whole wedding planning process, ensure you check out their previous work to be on the safe side to avoid confusion.*Same applies to service providers you don't want drama n vindeo..and you are hukus spending alot of money and it should be worth it..
e) Bridal party that you can trust at all times and will do their best to ensure your day is awesome. What more can be said about a bridal party that one can trust, you will need your girls and they should be able to have your back when things go wrong, they should be willing and friendly to help you shop,plan,window shoppe/bargain..lol. Just to name a few.
f) Good food that tastes fresh knowing that your guests will be disappointed if the food isn’t right: Have you ever been to a wedding that the food just wasn’t right, I hate to admit it but a wedding where the food just don’t taste right is not a wedding at all. In as much as your vows have been said and you are now man and woman, your food says a lot about you, your class and whether you care about your guest. You need to ensure that the food that would be served at your reception or during the cocktail hour is fresh and tasty at all times. Don’t forget the drinks too, chilled and one of a kind, you would have your guest saying…Wow!

g) Plan your menstrual cycle to avoid having your period on your wedding day. I have seen brides that fail to plan their menstrual cycle with their wedding dates and end up being very uncomfortable plus stressed out a day before the wedding. If you must mark your calendar for your dream wedding, ensure you plan alongside your menstrual cycle, see a gynaecologist to ensure that no disaster happens on your special day.
h) Relaxation is key on your special day, learn to stress not: I have seen brides that stress out when it comes time to planning their big day. There is no perfect wedding but a creative and unique wedding. Don’t’ fret the small stuff or worry over how the day will play out. 90% of brides who worry about having a perfect wedding end up not enjoying their special day, just learn to breathe and enjoy every moment. You can still check to ensure everything goes well but don’t stress over everything, knowing nothing is ever 100% perfect
i) Respect is Key. Avoid being rude to everyone on your special day, the people in your life that are attending and helping you plan your wedding still deserve for your respect.
j) Creativity: You want your wedding to be unique and different from the other girl next door, try to challenge yourself with your wedding, explore colours and use the best of your imagination, it’s your wedding. Make it the very best you can!

WHILE YOU ARE WAITING-what to do?

I had a conversation with someone and they said this

"I share this because I know I’m not the only woman who has felt this. (If I am, lie to me.) I speak to countless of women who desire relationships, but have nowhere to turn other than work, church, and the internet. I believe there is nothing wrong with any of those arteries to love, but why do we shy away from assisting girlfriends in finding the owner of their rib?It is uncomfortable to discuss singleness and loneliness with married women because a very common response permeated almost every discussion. Oh, enjoy your alone time! Once you get married you will miss your freedom, they would almost always say.

Really?!
I’d trade in my freedom and designer denim for warmth in my bed and the ability to cuddle with something other than my books.
 I’m not suggesting church become a religious Match.com, more than I am desiring the doors of communication to open wide. If Eliezer could match-make for Issac, if Naomi could encourage Ruth to take a risk, and if God’s beautiful analogy for the church is the picture of marriage, why not embrace single girls and discuss desires, demands, and dreams?

The above and some questions i was given to answer made me write the points below on what you could do as you wait.
1. Be what you want to attract.
What type of person do you want in your life? You want a warm, funny, educated person. Ask yourself: Am I that person? Sometimes the qualities we seek in our future partner are things that we also need to work on ourselves. Often I think of God saying, when you hand him over your great big list of wants, ‘okay so you want all this for you, what have you got to offer?’
2. What do I deserve?
You deserve God’s best. When I was born He said ‘I was a good thing’. I am fearfully and wonderfully made. I am a priceless jewel who should treasured and look after.
If it looks like a skunk, walks like a skunk and smells like a skunk – it is a skunk.  To often we settle for 10% when our 100% is out there waiting for us.
Do not accept: bad behaviour in any shape or form. If he is behaving badly now, what makes you think he will change when you get together?
3. Get busy about life. Meet others who have things in common.
Live life to the fullest. Look at your gifts {usually what people celebrate that you think is nothing} and use them. A little thing can turn into a big thing, if you let God develop it. Know the value of your gift.
Develop your talents and don’t spend time ‘waiting’ around doing nothing, your single years are when you’re most free. You can do what you want, go where you want. Stay busy being purposeful.
‘Occupy until I come’. Luke 19:13.
4. Get into community with people.
God created us to love. Pour yourself out to people/children who need it whether it be your local church, your neighbours or any other group/charity where you can give back,get involved.
5. Build platonic relationships with the opposite sex.
Men are great to have as friends. They have a completely different perspective on life and can often offer practical ways to solve problems. Building platonic relationships helps you learn how to relate to them in a healthy way and understand the male psyche. Men are also great to have around when you have some heavy lifting to do!:):):)
6. Get your house in order.
This includes:
-  your finances: pay off as much debt as you can. No debt? Build up your savings?
- your health: you want to lose those extra 10kgs – go for it, you don’t need a man before you do it.
- career: go for that job, take that extra class; develop yourself.
It’s about having a vision of where you want to go, who you are and where you want to be.  Establish the quality of your life now – it sets the standard for when he arrives.
7. Pray and wait joyfully
Enjoy where you are right now. Pray for your mate. Stop asking for him – pray for him. Have an air of expectancy and stay open to the possibilities of change. 
Never take the day for granted; have an attitude of gratitude’. I’ve mentioned this before but having a daily journal where you record the things you are thank you can really helpful you stay focus on being thankful rather than ‘woe is me’.  Live in the present and stay thankful.
TRY AND WAIT JOYFULLY NOT MISERABLY..OK?

ADJUSTMENTS in marriage (the series..

One day Mr and I went shopping outside our town. It was just before Christmas, about five months after our wedding. At the mall, we bumped into a friend of mine. I decided to hang out with her, since Mr was getting bored already, so we parted ways and agreed to meet in a few hours. My friend and I shopped to our heart’s content and when we got tired; we went to a café and sat down to have a bite and a chat. As we sat down, she turned to me and asked, “So, FG I’ve been meaning to ask you. How is married life?”
I wanted to answer the question honestly, so I told her that married life is a lot of fun, but there are many adjustments to make. She asked me what kind of adjustments, and I told her that they were stuff you would never think of if you were a single girl living on your own and accountable to no one but yourself. I told her, “For example, when we were shopping just now, I had to be mindful about the clothes and underwear I was buying, because someone cares about them”. She found that really funny and said that she couldn’t imagine having to put someone else in the picture when making the smallest decisions such as the clothes she bought or what she wore underneath. I laughed and told her that it does take a long time to get used to.

Apart from that though, there were a few more “inconveniences” we had to work around, for example:

We had to learn to share the television fairly. Who knew that something that sounds so simple in theory can actually be very complicated? Mr and I have very different taste in TV programmes. I like watching dramas and sitcoms, he likes watching wild-life documentaries, sports and news debates. Even when we want to watch movies, his choices are always very different from mine. Cue arguments and accusations such as “change the channel, my show is on now!”….“But you’ve watched that show a hundred times; can I watch my own show now?”….. “Hey, you can’t change the channel; my show comes up in a minute”…… “Can we watch something else?”…… “Babe please change the channel, this show is boring!”…… etc. You get the picture (lol). How we manage to resolve it? Patience, patience, patience and compromise, as in seriously. Recently, reminders and one-hour-later channels have made a big difference too. LOL

One of my hobbies is listening to music. Preferably as loud as possible, with me singing along since I usually know all the lyrics by heart. To me, that’s one of the ways I relax and tune out stress. For example, after a long day at lectures or at work, when I get home, the first thing I do is to put on my CD player or my laptop and turn up the volume. Now this was fine until I got married and I had to factor in somebody else living in the same house as me. I got a shock one day when I was enjoying my music in the afternoon. Mr came into the living room and said I was making noise and he wanted some peace and quiet. I stared at him as if he wasn’t making sense. How could he call my music “noise” and ask me to turn it off? Did he not know that listening to music was one of my favourite things to do? We argued for ages but we still didn’t come to a resolution. I just couldn’t imagine giving up listening to music because of him. He suggested that I should use headphones. I grudgingly obliged but it was just not the same. Now though, I have learnt to leave the room he is in when I’ve got my music playing. And I make the most of it when he is not at home and I can turn it up as loud as I want to!
Something else that needed to be worked out was sharing the chores in the house. In this re gard, I must say I’ve not had much of a problem, as Mr gets stuck in with the housework and he doesn’t leave it all to just me. He doesn’t like dirt and grime so he would rather scrub the tub himself, for example, than wait for me to do it. We’ve got some unspoken rules as to who does what, but they are flexible depending on who got there first. And we don’t have a time-table as such so we just do our chores as and when necessary. Usually on Saturdays, he wakes up before me and starts tidying up and I’ll join him later. And sometimes, I take charge, make a list of what needs to be done and we share both the difficult and easy tasks accordingly. It works well for us right now, but I have a feeling that when we have kids, we will need to be clearer on who does what!

PS:Repping a friendie

THE LADY HER LOVER AND HER LORD

Adjusting to married life was a very interesting process in more ways than one. Sometimes I found myself wondering if every newly-wed couple had to go through the same process of adjusting like we did. And I wished someone could have told me what exactly to expect, so that I would feel like I was better prepared. You know how you ask your friends who recently got married, "So how is married life?" and they just say "It's fine, it's wonderful!". You wish they would say more, but you don't know how to ask. The truth is though, that no matter how much people tell you before, you have to experience some things for yourself.(i will emphasize that to the end,somethings you will learn on your own gurlie..liz ha!!)lol
 Here's an example of something I wish somebody told me earlier.

In my last three years as a single girl, I had developed a close relationship with God. I used to worship, pray and read my bible every day without fail. I enjoyed spending time in my Heavenly Father's presence as much as I could. I could pour out my heart to my God anytime and He always answered me. I always felt that I was God's special daughter and nothing could take away that wonderful relationship from me. God's love and His presence was always around me. My heavenly father was a big guiding factor in everything I did because I always made sure I consulted Him before making any big decisions. He was the main "man" in my life and my world revolved around Him.

A few months after I finished my Masters degree and moved back home, I suddenly noticed something odd. Something was definitely different in my Christian life, God was out! I had gotten so excited about having a new permanent man in my life that I had edged God out and didn't crave His presence anymore. In the middle of adjusting to married life, having a husband and becoming a wife, my heavenly Father had taken a back seat! My time, my focus and my mind was now filled with thoughts of my husband 24/7 that I didn't have time for God anymore. In essence, I had replaced God with hubby. At first I was slightly worried but I didn't know what to do. I didn't think I had done it on purpose, it just happened that way..... I didn't know whether to feel guilty about it or not..... I didn't know whether this was quite a normal thing to happen to other newlywed brides...... I didn't know whether it was just me getting carried away with my new status. So I didn't do anything, I didn't even discuss it with hubby.

As time went on though, I began to question myself. Why have I replaced God with my husband? Isn't that dangerous? Hubby might be a good man and all, but really nobody can and should take the place of God in my life. I couldn't even pray any more because I had lost the urge to! So I started fretting and making myself confused and worried. Until one day I decided to call my pastor's wife to ask her if she had experienced the same thing when she first got married. I hoped she would then be able to give me some advice. When I called the pastor, I asked to speak to his wife but she was not around. He could tell I was distressed about something so he asked what the matter was. I told him everything I had been feeling and surprisingly he laughed! He said it was alright and God understands, and He was not angry with me for working on bonding with my husband. He also said that the fact that I'm worried about it shows that I am missing something, so I should just relax and allow myself to slowly get back in tune with God.
It was such a relief to hear that! Afterwards I went to pray and it was something along the lines of: "Lord please help me, it's no more just me and You, it's now Me, You and Him so I need Your wisdom to guide me so I can balance having both of you in my life".

About a week later, I was chatting online to a friend of mine from uni and she asked me how married life was going. I told her what I had recently prayed about. To my surprise she said that in her fellowship group, there was a newly-wed lady who recently shared with them about going through the exact same thing! The lady said that she also felt guilty for spending all her time with her husband and not enough time with God anymore! I was really glad to hear this. I felt like it was God's way of telling me that I'm not alone and it's quite normal!


Thankfully with time, prayers and patience I got back in touch with God and I've been able to balance both relationships. God now has His rightful place in my life, and hubby has his right place in my life too. Hubby and I now have our separate quiet time with God, and then have our couple time with God together. It makes me wonder though, how much adjusting I would have to do when children come into the relationship and I have to divide my time, attention and focus even more.

PS;dug this out from archives as told by my old friendie :)lol

Guest Post: Reality as a Newly-Wed!

. As a fellow newlywed, she knows how it is!

I can't stop thinking about it all: how well the day went, how beautiful I was and how colourful the occasion was.
I have fleeting glimpses of specific moments the walk down the aisle, the kiss, the vows (I barely remember this, I rushed it, reading it all over again I begin to realize the gravity of the words I said just as mere words), the exchange of rings, the dancing, and how I did not taste the food!
I married my prince charming, my honeymoon was a blast, it should be a tradition every year in our marriage.
I’m back -- and not just back from our trip.  Back to 'normal' life, back to my new home, it feels strange. The thought of marriage makes me feel older, more responsible.  A life where I am constantly reminded of my new status, the society expects so much from me already, my in-laws expect a bump in the next 2 months, my parents can’t wait to become expectant grand-parents. The new weight on my fingers-the rock and the metal!!! An absolute beauty and treasure! It was carefully picked. It’s one of the symbols that reminds me that this is forever.
“How long is this forever? I wonder”. “What if I can’t go the whole forever?”
Now, my schedules are kinda clear, no vendors to meet,  no marriage counselling..., no venues to visit, no more wedding sites for inspiration. I have suddenly become the newly-wed!
This is it!!! The Marriage Scene begins.
Now, it dawns, the only reason I had planned and saved so hard for a day's event is because of this scene...the marriage!
Now, I scurry to the internet, ‘survival tips for newly-weds’, ‘My first week as a newly-wed’, ‘Furnishing our new home’ , ‘our first home-made dinner’ etc, etc.
Now, I am stuck with nurturing my own experiences?
· No two marriages are the same, learn to stay with what works for you.
· Communication and talking are two different things.
· Sex is meant to be enjoyed, not endured. It is more spiritual than physical. It represents a giving of one’s self. I expect my spouse to tell me how well I am doing sexually.
· Marriage gives you a life-long opportunity to spend time together. There's never been a better time to get to know each other better.
· You will need to master the art of compromise, it’s not as easy as it sounds, in fact I hate it, but you know what, its creates a middle ground.
· Marriage makes me feel older...another feeling I hate!!! Why can’t I rewind to 10yrs earlier.
· Talk about how money is spent, if joint-account works fine! If not...avoid it. It may be right for accountability, but if it makes you spy over your spouse and may leave distrust then my advice...avoid it!
· Let everyone including your in-laws and parents know how important your spouse is to you.
· It feels good to overhear my husband mention ‘wife’ over the phone, but that word makes me feel responsible for another human being.
Need I say more, marriage is honourable, happy endings are still very common!
I am working at my own happy ending…
What’s yours?

NICE CHIC OR GOOD WOMAN?

There is a question every single woman that has been in a couple of ‘potential relationships’ that for one reason or another fail to materialize asks themselves, I’m I just a good chic or a good woman?

How she will answer this question holds the key to understanding why some women seem to be husband magnets while others just have to keep holding out hope forever.

The answer in my mind is simple. While I don’t claim to be a master of this boy meets girl thing by any degree of the word, (there are those well versed with it much more than I); I do know one thing. When a man wants to settle down, he simply looks for a good woman.

Not a nice chic. Because while nice chics are just that, nice, a good woman is SAFE.

Nice chics are for going out, hanging out with, doing fun stuff, friendship and talk, and just do things with.

A good woman? That’s someone a guy wants to live life with

So, what’s the difference? I’m glad you asked.

First, let’s define marriage in a man’s language. And you may be surprised it’s not the usual relationship jargon and romantic lingo people keep ranting about.

When a man wants to settle down; he will simply go to the safest place on earth. The safest person and place that gives him a sense of sanity, stability, and an assurance from his fears. Where he knows he will be OK. Truth is, only one woman fits the bill. Because only one really did this for him. His Dear mama!

 I have a theory on men and their marriage choices; Every man is looking for his mama in the woman he wants to marry. And what mama gave him, He’s gonna look for in a woman he wants to live with.  Which is basically a sense of safety, stability and care. To men, marriage is a huge investment. He will invest his life’s work, emotions, love, money, future, kids… basically everything that holds his world together. And he ain’t gonna do that with a ‘risky’ woman. Nope. No way, hapana. Nada, Ah ah. Ain’t gonna happen.

Risk is for play, safe is for investment. Risky is for now, safe is for keeps. And the thing is, nice chic is a risky affair. At least to the jamaa on the street.

And, Marriage is an investment to any man. Sorry, but that’s how we process. That’s why men will flee their own home when the returns they expected, I’m talking love, respect, care, challenge, fulfillment and joy are taken out of the equation. He will hide himself in a career/job/woman…. Whatever else that ticks his fancy.

So let’s see what a nice chic is and is not. Ladies, and gentlemen, Lean forward. Ready? Go!

Nice Chic (Please notice what she is Not, that’s where the key lies)

1.       The ‘fun’ woman, she is spontaneous but not consistent

2.       She is the hip girl, not the homely one

3.       She is smooth, not gentle

4.       She is sensual, not charming

5.       She is pricey, not priceless

6.       She has power not influence

7.       She can make you feel, not feel you

8.       She is with you, not for you

9.       She’ll spend with your life, not life with you

10.   She loves you, not your world

And What she is not, is what makes a woman a good one. Good enough for a guy to sit back and think about you and him; (When he is weighing his options on who to go for-Yeah they all consider 3 or 4. Not just you alone!)

The paradox is, Most good women, will have the same qualities as the nice chic, no doubt... I mean, that’s a pretty obvious fact. However! The key to the good woman is what the nice chic is not.

Here’s the remix. The good woman is; consistent, homely, gentle, charming, priceless, influential, feels you, is for you, lives life with you, and loves and can handle your world. Period!

Got it? What the nice chic is not, the good woman is. And that, for men, is a HUGE deal.

Huge enough to cause a delay or even a change of mind when it comes to popping the question!

I’m just saying!

Posted  by Pastor Wa

Why Should Christians Wait For Marriage To Have Sex?

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Sex is not only a hot topic in our culture, it’s also on the minds of most couples in love. It’s a natural, God-given desire — a gift intended to give us pleasure and express our intimacy.
But did God have a plan in mind for sex? What are the freedoms and guidelines? Let’s look at Scripture to find some answers to these questions.
First, God intended sex to be enjoyed between a man and a woman in marriage. God created Eve for Adam because Adam needed a mate comparable to him. He needed companionship, relationship, and intimacy. So God chose marriage as a sacred and honorable relationship in which to meet those needs (Genesis 2:23-25).
Second, throughout Scripture we are commanded to avoid all forms of sexual immorality (Acts 15:29 ; Romans 1:29 ; 1 Corinthians 6:13-18 ; Galatians 5:19 ; 1 Thessalonians 4:3). That God is concerned about sexual purity is clear in the Old Testament (Deuteronomy 22). In the New Testament, Paul said that satisfying one’s burning passions before marriage is not an option for the believer (1 Corinthians 7:2,8-9).
Third, when we enjoy another’s body (physically or mentally) for sexual pleasure outside of marriage, we are guilty of covetousness. Exodus 20:17 says, “You shall not covet your neighbor’s house, you shall not covet your neighbor’s wife, nor his male servant, nor his female servant, nor his ox, nor his donkey, nor anything that is your neighbor’s.” To covet means “to desire, take pleasure in, and delight in.” The point is that you may not take what is not yours. You may not take illegitimate delight in what does not belong to you. One must ask, “Am I selfishly delighting in (coveting) what is not mine?” Our bodies belong only to God and to our spouse (1 Corinthians 6:19; 7:4).
Last, as followers of Christ, we must govern all of our behavior, decisions, and thoughts with the principle of love (Matthew 22:37-40). What does it mean to love your date? Loving means to put your date’s welfare, both short-term and long-term, above your own desires. To love is to respect and protect (1 Corinthians 13:4-7). We should test our intentions and actions by asking ourselves some questions: “Am I really seeking to do what God wants me to do?” “Am I placing my date’s welfare above my desires, thus loving that person?” “How does my dating life stand up to the test of love?”
The world wants us to believe that sex outside of marriage is okay. But without the commitment of marriage, sex is a shallow illusion of intimacy. It is nothing more than erotic stimulation and/or a temporary escape from loneliness. It is basically selfish. Consequently, it often becomes a means to manipulate and control others. This easily leads into the strange perversions of sexuality to which we as a sinful, desperate people are prone.
This is far from what God intended for His children. God loves us and wants only the best for us. God has given us all good things to enjoy, sex included (John 13:34 ;James 1:17). So how will we best enjoy our sexuality? Within the security of a committed marital relationship. Within a loving marriage there is assurance, accountability, and a commitment to work on the relationship when times are difficult.
You may wonder, “How far can I go before marriage?” Except for intercourse, Scripture does not specifically outline what is and what is not forbidden. God leaves that up to us to decide, keeping in mind the principles above. However, it is wise to prepare ourselves before we enter into a romantic relationship.
First- Set your standards now!
Don’t wait for a passionate moment to decide what is off limits. Holding hands, warm hugs, and kissing are all natural expressions of true love and genuine care for a person. If a touch like this does not cause you to lust and it is done out of respect for another, it can be considered an appropriate touch. There are, however, more intimate physical expressions that should be reserved for a married couple. They are designed to stimulate and excite and to culminate in sexual intercourse. These activities should be avoided by a dating couple because their purpose is to prepare the body for sex. Examples of these activities are fondling of breasts or genitals, heavy and passionate kissing, necking, petting, and oral sex. This list is not conclusive, however. If touching another causes you to lust, or if it defrauds that person, it’s time to back off.
Second- Listen to the little voice inside!
If you are doing something or are in a situation that is causing you to feel uncomfortable, guilty, or violated, listen to those feelings. They are there for a reason. Because there is a natural drive within each of us to protect ourselves, the feelings we have are “early warning” indicators that we may be experiencing personal harm. We need to trust our feelings, speak up, and exercise listening to that “little voice.”
Third- Picture it!
Imagine that the person you are dating is your future mate. That’s not so difficult. But now picture that person with someone else on a date. How would you want that date to go? How far would you want that sexual relationship proceed? What kind of activities would be off limits then? Now think of the person you are with as someone else’s future mate. How are you going to leave this person? A little used? Is that how you want your potential mate? How do you want your sister to be treated on a date? How do you want your brother to act? This little exercise puts our dating life in perspective, because we all have people so special to us that we want to love and protect them. This is how we should approach the person we are dating — as someone special to be loved and honored.
Waiting for sex until marriage can be difficult. We’re often tempted to choose what will give us instant pleasure. A man and a woman who are tempted to give in to their strong sexual desires will do well to admit their struggle before God, trust Him that He will meet their needs, and use wisdom and self-control to avoid falling into the trap of premarital sex.
Will God still love us if we choose the path that leads away from Him? Will He forgive us if we have not lived up to His standard of purity? Of course — we all struggle with living up to God’s standards. David is a good example of a man who gave in to the temptation of sex outside of marriage (2 Samuel 11:3–12:20). He and Bathsheba, the wife of Uriah, had sex. David lied and committed murder to try to cover his tracks. After he was confronted with his sin by the prophet Nathan, he repented and God forgave him. However, David still had to live with the consequences of his choices. He had to live with the fact that he had a man murdered. David’s reputation was irreparably marred, his son died, and his household was thrown into disarray. David suffered greatly because of his choice to have sex with Bathsheba. How will you choose to live?
Taken from Help For My Life