I THOUGHT I WAS VERY SELFLESS UNTIL I GOT MARRIED(PT.2 OF SO HOWZ MARRIED LIFE)

This time round I have extracts on my post.l ol. I in boxed two of my girls and asked them to share something on the topic of selfishness/year one of marriage and this is what they had to say..I promised them that I will not disclose their names but rather I will refer to them as “a pal of mine”..That is exactly what I did.

PAL 1:         I think everyone gets into marriage thinking their way is the best. I for example was brought up by a single mother all my life, she showed me how to be strong and assertive and how to fight to make it, then I get a husband who was brought up in a family where the wife was submissive and he never saw his parents argue! so now I realised I had no clue what submission was, I had anger issues and I was insecure. I thought he would one day walk away and never come back. So I went back to the drawing board, I had to ask God for help and be extremely aware of myself. It's still a process that I am in trying to became a Christian wife.(a pal of mine)

Pal 2:   wow.....i feel that when u get married people don't really get the single hood out of their head completely. they want to be treated in a special way .then we tend to have a lot of expectations and when The need is not met ....we want to start blaming.....its always what have you not done for me . 

   I think most time is to treat and do to your partner what u you would like to be done for. The first year of marriage is usually a tricky one is a make or break point...u need to walk with your best couple at this point or a mature couple.....because u experience things first hand.(a pal of mine)

·         See below for hubby’s hands on experience on this topic as narrated and written by me!permited by him.lol

·         I have asked for permission to share this and permission has been granted, this day we had samosa’s in the fridge, it was a slow Saturday morning and we were doing our daily gazette reading time, so hubby felt like a samosa, reached to the fridge and warmed a few pieces..at that point I dint feel like a samosa but later on I did and of course reached out to hubby’s samosa.!!!.Reflex, hubby was like “sweetie, why are you taking my samosa?, there  are plenty in the fridge..warrrt!!I was like hey I’m your wife, it’s no longer your samosa, its ours Jand at that point I got pissed and went to a different room talking under my breathe we were ..i pouted esh!!..i wasn’t seeing how I was denied access to my hubby’s plate by hubby himself. lol..After a few minutes hubby came and reached out said he was sorry for being selfish, and his samosa is my samosa..lolest..We made up and we were friends again…lolest.at times it takes experience just to show us how selfish we can get...

·         Interesting topic I must admit. None of us wants to be termed as selfish. Nonetheless if we decide to be honest with ourselves then and only then can we admit that we are selfish in nature. I for one, Is still shocked that I reached a point I could confess that I I’m selfish...I’ve always been that chic, striving to impress the people around me, I mean si  I pray, I fast, I study my word, I’m involved in ministry I even have mentors..Ehe! boooyah!! I’m not Jesus, I’m not perfect..I’m bad, and it’s just by grace that I have been covered and all of you can’t see how bad I can be. But truth is I am selfish ,not to ,mean that I am comfy n happy about that situation and not doing anything to change, of course not, for me, it’s just the realization that hit home hard. I now understand why God in his word says Love your neighbor as you love yourself. He knew it won’t be first nature hence gave it as a command. I love my hubby to bits, no doubt about that.IM IN LOVE <3,<3,<3,I tell you.,

·          I sacrifice my time, my sleep and at times comfort for him hence I can easily lie to self that I obey the command fully,(I love my neighbor as self) where the story changes is when now you are relaxed and don’t want to come out of  my comfort zone(comfort zone can be many things, can be that personality that you hide in, that temperament u hide in, that habit you’ve clothed yourself in, that bitterness, that lie you have believed in, that past, that foolishness, that reality in your own world..et al)…

·             I remember a certain incidence when we were still very fresh in this institution of marriage, I was on leave but hubby was working. On this particular Saturday, he had work the whole day. His morning kicked off at 5am and he got back home at 10pm and Slept in. The next day was a Sunday, automatically its church d-day, so I woke up first fixed breakfast, showered, got ready and finally woke up my hubby who was very beat n still sleepy. So he was like, ”swits, I doubt I have rested enough, still  tired from yesterday’s events “Meanwhile, in my head, its Sunday so let’s just go to church you will come back to sleep, coz there was no way I was going to go to church and leave him behind..So he prepared himself ready for church.I dint mind asking how he felt for me my goal was we go to church...So when almost living the house, hubby’s like “my head is heavy, I think I haven’t rested enough”..ai?(the ai is in my head)’I was like “sweetheart no, we are newlyweds,  I’m not single anymore, I can’t go to church and sit alone and I have a ring on my left hand, people will think things**tsk…I went on and on, but honestly hubby was tired and he decided to stay at home and relax..wololos,(for my friends in the Diaspora wololo is a local dialect used in French and the luo community to mean shock),I got mad and forged with my mission, I went to church. But to a church closer to where we live.After the service I decided to go to the saloon, did my hair and came back home in the evening, in the name of punishing my husband. Do not forget .I’m still a born again Christian (ujinga ni)i felft justified at that point (DID I SAY UJINGA NI)of course I did apologise to hubby  later, and promised never to repeat that again. later on it hit me, how unselfish I was, I was just thinking of ME!ME!ME!ME!!..

As I insisted on my first post..Marriage is a school..You learn every day..if you are not  willing to learn, you are the WRONG CANDIDATE…have a learning day..Wont you…keep it locked for the next post feel free to leave a comment and share your thoughts, they go along way..tsssktskk…

"So,howz married life??"part 1

i LOVE MY TOPIC..LOL..its been almost 6months.ok 8days to click exactly six months since i said i do to the most amaizing man ever,and oh yes iit been amazing amazing amazing.
im almost done with paragraph one and my thoughts are still abit scattered..lol
once you get married,it kinda feels like there is this new big question in town. so,how is married life" think i used to ask my friends the same quetion,,no,wait,i never used to ask that exact q,i actually used to ask specifics,like how is sex?how does it fel to always be together/??do u fight??over wat???etc..but ya.i only get a few to ask directly as i use to ..i noticed every newlywed gets to be asked the big Q"SO,HOW IS MARRIED LIFE,spare some kidogo time bana,this is a learning curve..by 1month you you honestly still cant answer that question,ok its different for everybody,i have a pal who was hukus crying week one after getting home fom honeymoon,she felt overwhelmed by all the cooking while her hubby was huko's relaxing in the living room chilling for food..another one went for house work counselling end of month one coz she felt like a house help!do not be too fast to laugh!!wait for your experience or look back at your experience..i believe people have different expectations or some dont think about it..depending with personality,background etc etc..some of us calculate our steps before we get there..like sooo dear head lets do an open ended case scenario of our new life .personally i had to psycologically prep my self to be preparing breakfast,i have never really been a breakfast person or ever been in a position to wake up earlier to prep tea before..but now i had todid it for a week,amonth,2moths 5months and im still doing it..its now become part of me..its called adjustments.but still it takes adjusting...I asked another pal of one thing she would say about adjustments and she told me"even if you have dated for 7years..buyaaa..you do not know that man..when you start living together,thats when you will start the journey of knowing him..sorry thats when you begin the journey of knowing each other..so honey..stop givinhg us that excuse while dating,ati"we r still getting to know each other better n you have been dating for 4years"give us another reason..spare us tha one...
      I was talking to a pal of mine(been talking to many pals...clearly) who told me that she came up with a permanent answer to the question"how is married life"her answer was"ITS A LEARNING CURVE' so i stole her line and put it in my purse and use it when need be. truth be told it is a learning curve.tried and tested
 Another line i got recently,now this is personal inspiration..howz is marrioed life my answer"ADJUSTMENTS GALORE"Maybe all this sounds cliche but truth is they aint cliche ni "ukweli mtupu"pure truth
         In my few months in marriage i have come to learn one profound truth 'A good marriage,just like anything worthwhile,takes doing the right things EVERYDAY...EVERYHOUR...EVERYMOMENT..you can clearly see what i i mean when i say learning curve etc etc.

       Honestly there is alot of "cliche that is very true in marriage..like"you have to work at it"boooyah..ask me about it..things dont just work themselves...ai..if  you dont work at it..IT AINT HAPPENING DARLING..If  dont plan to spend time with hubby we will soon become strangers,if i do not clean my house often it will become a coackroach/rat haven,If i dont go out to get groceries in the market in good time..il end up buying 1onion for 15bob at my estate gate while at the market onions worth 200bob will push me for almost 2months.(verb-world)talk about intentionality..you have to be intentional about quite everything..In my head as long as you are married,you automatically spend enough time together and wont experience dramas for"oh we no longer spend time together,we no longer do fun activities.Honest truth is,even though you live in the same house,sleep on the same bed..you can easily be srangers,perfect strangers or is it housemates??you see the way at some point in life dad leaves the house early in the morning and comes back when ur in bed or almost turning in..yes!!yes!!you gotta make it work.
You basically have to adjust to almost to every life aspect(hanging out with ur gals..next post)
..hubby is a night person and im more of an early to bed and early to rise is the way to make you healthy n wealthy and wise..lol...so most often than not hubby has to sacrifice all his energy aand turn in at ten coz his wife wants to turn in..yes love equals sacrifice..i love stewed liver hubby loves fried liver..we have to find a way of balancing that out..so if this time we do fried,next time we do stewed..most often than not im the chief chef and honest truth is at times im tempted to stew stew and stew,,but hey love equals sacrifice.i used to iron my clothes when i need to put them on.Hubby prefers ironing straight from the clothes line,cough*cough*...one of those hard adjustments for me..but hey i wonna be "that wife'im trying,i promise i am"Hubby has a particular way he prefers his shirts hang on the line,almost took a pictorila tutorial for this..i gotta remind myself everytime wen hanging his clothes on the line,coz trust me he will know if i dont.Some adjustments are easy,others need sacrifice,others are a daily thingie..but thez grace..marriage is a school..adjusting to living together is fun in different ways..cant wait to look back 10years later.

    Adjusting to married life is a very interesting process in more ways than one.
 I believe every newly-wed couple goes through the same process of adjusting like we do And at times i wished someone could have told me what exactly to expect, so that I would feel like I was better prepared. You know how you ask your friends who recently got married, "So how is married life?" and they just say "It's fine, it's wonderful!". You wish they would say more, but you don't know how to ask. The truth is though, that no matter how much people tell you before, you have to experience some things for yourself.

 There is alot to adjusting..will continue in my next post:)keep it locked

Praying for Your Husband from Head to Toe

                                                                                  By Renee Swope

Head
Father, I ask that You would continually renew my husband’s mind, resulting in a transformed life. Help him bring every thought to Christ and make it obedient to You. Give him a greater understanding of Your Word. Help him to think on things that are pure and right and worthy of praise.” (Psalm 119:15, Rom 12:2, 2 Cor.10:5)
Eyes
Lord, keep open my husband’s eyes to spiritual truths that You have for him. Help him to see things as You see them. Please guard his eyes from things that make his heart wander away from you and me. (Psalm 119:18, Psalm 119:37)
Ears
Father, help my husband to hear Your voice clearly. Give him wisdom to recognize your voice with certainty. Protect him from listening to those who aren’t seeking or walking with You. Guard him from negativity of what others say, and help him discern between good and evil. Thank you for giving him the ability to determine what is of You and what is not. (Is 30:21, 1 Kings 3:9, 1 John 4:1)
Mouth
Jesus, help my husband to speak the truth in love. Your desire is for him to be quick to listen and slow to speak – so I pray that you would make that his desire too. Give him courage to lovingly confront when necessary. Let the words he speaks be Yours, not his own. Help him speak words that bring grace and truth to the hearers. Thank you that You want to help him grow in his ability and desire to communicate with you and others. (Psalm 19:14, 119:13, 41:3; Eph 4:15, 4:29; James 1:19)
Heart
Lord, instill in my husband’s heart a desire to seek passionately after You. Teach him to guard his heart with diligence and wisdom. Help him deal with anything in his heart that is not pleasing to You or that separates him from You. Create in him a pure heart, O Lord. Thank you that You are enabling him to lead our family with integrity and honor. (Psalm 78:72, 119:10-11; Prov 4:23; 1 Thes 3:13)
Hands
Lord, I pray everything my husband does would be done with his whole heart, serving You rather than man. Seeking to please You alone. I pray You will increase his skills and his abilities so that he might bring honor and glory to you – and feel like a good provider for our family. Thank You for blessing everything he puts his hands to. (Psalm 24:3-4, Col 3:23)
Feet
Jesus, I pray my husband would love Your Words and walk in Your ways. Help him walk in a manner that is worthy of You, bearing fruit in every good work. I pray You’d show him how to creatively share your truth with our kids as he does life with them each day. Father, when he walks through the valley of the shadow of doubt and difficulties, I pray he would fear no evil because He knows that you are with him. Thank you for loving and leading Him. (Deut 6:7, 8:6, Col 1:10, Psalm 23:4)

LAST DAY OF THE YEAR TWO THOUSAND AND ELEVEN

wOHHO..ARZIN ITS 31ST DEC 2011...I CAN VIVIDLY REMEMBER MY 31ST DEC 2010 AND THE NEXT DAY 1ST JAN 2011..WHAT I WORE.WHERE I WENT WHAT I DID..ARZIN I CAN REMEMBER THE DETAILS.OKEY MAYBE COZ I SPENT THE DAY WITH MY BOYFRIEND..LOL..WE WENt out of  Nairobi..lukenya getaway it was.it was an awesome way of spending the first day of the year.well,tomorrow,the 1st of jan 2012 i will be in this office working,though it will be more of manning the office coz i believe i will be very sleepy after tonight's night vigil.oh well,whatever the case,i i will survive,i intend on being in the office as from ten in the am.
Now,now,now,its soo happens that when one reflects on how far they have come,what the year has been like,all the activities,emotions,ups and downs,what?there is alot that can happen in 12months,52weeks,those are many seasons right there,what i was protected against that i still don't have a clue about ,i suppose it was  quite something,If it was not for the lord,where would i be??*i don't know*and this is the reason why all that's on my mind right now is gratitude,so grateful for all the year has been with God on my side,im alive n well,i have a family,friends,im engaged to get married in 98 days oh my word*excitement*i have been blessed with a job,wow  i have been on this job for several years now,and it just God..may the lord teach me to always be grateful.i think i have said this,but let me just repeat..all this is because of  you lord,if it wasn't for you where would i be??whatever would have happened in my life,i don't even what to think about t..so i say thank you...For my good friends..oh my friends are a support system,if it wasn't for some of them,ouch,life wouldn't have been this awesome..so im looking forward to an awesome time of thanksgiving n of committing the year ahead to God,tonight in church...Despite the heavy threats of insecurity in our country.i believe that our God is mighty to save,He is our shield n protector..and He has our back,so all is well.looking forward to an awesome year ahead,for Kenya as a nation..if the land prospers i prosper too..to the body of Christ,for my family,for my friends and me n myn as well..Getting married in 98days*i said that already,oh well*im just being a girl*,trusting God for favour,providence,Good weather on my wedding day,praying for all my service providers,that the lord will keep them in good health n that we will find favour with them,n they will deliver awesomely..as unto the lord.my family,fiancee,friends,relatives and i will b protected against any plans of the evil one,we will b in good health as well,peace of mind..that all the planning will go well,all for the glory and honour of God's name.We will be looking for a house to move into(our family home)may the lord.lead us to where he wants us to stay,where we will be happy,have peace,be a blessing n find blessings..you know what im talking about..I commit all that to God..i know/trust/believe that He will come through..Now the tangent has changed and all my mind is thinking about is about all i want/desire for 2012..bet that will b on another post..this post was meant for 2011 n gratitude..so with that,il say adios for today...Thank you lord,for your goodness and kindness..amen

GRATITIDE AS A BUSINESS STRATEGY

i read this somewhere online n i thot it wise to save it for future reference..i liked it:)D

Gratitude As A Business Strategy

1,129
inShare

Most of us are fantastic complainers. When someone doesn't meet our expectations, we let them know. We may even let their boss or mother know.
There's nothing wrong with expecting excellence, and taking steps to get it. The problem is, we tend to take excellence--and thoughtfulness, and kindness, and joyfulness--for granted.
When things go as we expect, we don't even notice or acknowledge it. Dennis Prager refers to this as the "broken tile" syndrome: look at a ceiling with one broken tile, and where is your eye naturally drawn? To the broken tile, of course. Not to the hundreds of whole ones.

  Most people return small favors, acknowledge medium ones and repay greater ones - with ingratitude.
--Benjamin Franklin
Feeling gratitude and not expressing it is like wrapping a present and not giving it.
--William Arthur Ward
Feeling grateful or appreciative of someone or something in your life actually attracts more of the things that you appreciate and value into your life.
--Christiane Northrup
If the only prayer you ever say in your entire life is "thank you," it will be enough.
--Meister Eckhart

To see if this is true for you, think for a moment about your many contributions to the people around you. Do you get thanked enough for them? Does the gratitude-to-criticism ratio you experience feel right to you?
Gratitude Deficit Disorder: A Global Epidemic
Almost everyone I know, from pastors to parents, from cashiers to carpet cleaners, from architects to accountants, suffers from GDD: Gratitude Deficit Disorder. Despite all our good intentions and actions, we receive much more flak than gratitude. We are hungry for genuine appreciation and thanks. We want to know that we matter, that our efforts are making the world a better place.
And so do your customers and vendors and coworkers and friends and family. Think back on the past year. It's been tough for many of us, for many reasons. What have your business associates done that you are truly thankful for? An extra phone call? A volunteer effort? Special customer service? An unsolicited referral or testimonial?
Between now and the end of the year, how can you communicate your appreciation? How can you fill the global hunger for gratitude? How can you catch people in the act of goodness? Spend five minutes now making a list of people you are sincerely grateful towards. Then create an action plan to communicate your thanks, with no hidden agenda.
Real Gratitude, Not Opportunistic Holiday BS
I'm not talking about Thanksgiving sales fliers: "To thank you for your patronage, we're giving you 10% off all XXXL purple dress shirts from now until we make our sales quota."
No, I'm talking about honest, unselfish, respectful acknowledgment of another human being. Actually, I take that back--partly. Living gratefully is probably the most selfish thing you can do. In the moments when I am bathed in gratitude, for a caring gesture or a spectacular autumn morning, I feel phenomenal.
And you can take that selfishness even further: When people notice that you thank them for their efforts, they'll naturally work even harder to please you in the future. They may even start thanking you for your good work!
Do you think it's possible that communicating an attitude of gratitude in your business could actually make you more money? Remember the cardinal rule of business: "Find a need and fill it."
Who do you know who is a masterful "thanker"? Do you have any stories or examples of gratitude as a marketing strategy? (If so, please share them in the comments below.) As Ken Blanchard writes, "All of us is smarter than any of us."
Happy Thanksgiving. I wish you a holiday season filled with abundance--lots of love, lots of kindness, and lots of gratitude.

I HAVE MY LIFE CUT OUT FOR ME

like SERIOUSLY..MY life is already planned out for me..not like i did not know this,but let us just say i had a light bulb moment today at 5 in the am..then,i couldn't remember any bible verse to support my light bulb moment shine for longer(u know being all deep n stuff lol)but now i actually think of this verse..ephesian 2:10"for He created me to do the good works which he'd prepared for me to do in advance;halleluya..halleluya again...awesome mamboz.
So now i was working night-shift yesterday and as is the norm,us guyz have a mattress in the office that we roll out at like 1 in the am..n just lay to rest..our brains are like super adjustable.. n know wosap..coz we answer phone calls n respond to the latter..a clients knocks we open n issue tickets perfectly..no mishap..u get my drift?aha...so today happened to be one of those lazy mornings where..someone knocked my office door like at 5in the am..i was kinda deep in sleep..i woke up n talked to them..apparently there were two clients down stairs who wanted to buy tickets but not before they knew how much the tickets cost..so in my head im like hey bummer you guyz just come up n make all your inquiries..i know like a doctor i should charge for consultation  but i don't so just come up..unfortunately i talked aloud n said.."i don't like such clients"the guy who'd knocked my door wasn't jazzed..im sure he was thinking"woman,customer is always right"by the way i have beef with that line..THEY/WE ARE NOT ALWAYS RIGHT..(long topic for another day)so yah..i told them to come up n they decided to send one of them up..The needed to get to Mombasa on the 1st flight..unfortunately kq's 6am flight had been cancelled..fly540's 0645 am flight was fully booked..so the only option was jet-link n man..the available seats were quite on the high like 9k 5soc compared to the usual 4k 5socfor a one way ticket(hey its Christmas)..so the man walks out n starts chatting with his colleague who is on the ground floor..negotiating the price n so on..then they are like..oh gwosh,no,we aint buying thats toooo costly for crying out loud,...ah,ah(klike talking alound..one or the balcony the other one down there n its lyk 5am..the whole sound travels faster thingie)..since thed woken me up..i was soo pissed..i nkt'd severally..n thats when i got the light bulb moment that my work is actually planned for m,e..n so are my clients..they are people who God has already ordained that they will travel on day x..n cum what may,i will be the one to issue there tickets..there some pips..despite how far worlds apart we were born we will become good friends..things that will unfold in my life are already planned for by God,,nothing gets him by surprise..my clients are cut out for me,my job,my rshps..my children,my retirement.,my tomorrow,my next year.....and 30minutes later the man n the lady came knocking at my door..asking me to sell them the tickets to mombasa at the price of 9k 5soc..(like they had a choice;;mmm)cash at hand ready for my service..i did it gladly(knowing the had shopped round..maybe even went to the kq sales office and they were given the 11k 5soc fare..i had checked that out from the system..there goes the advantages of a travel agency..we give you different flight options and different fares hence you determine want you want to spend..so hey..i made 2extra walk in sales..that i hadn't planned for but God had it planned out for me..yayness:)

LEARNING TO LISTEN

It may sound like a cliché but you may have heard many happy couples say the key to staying together is communication. Usually what springs to mind when you hear this is: you and your partner should be able to talk to each other, express your feelings clearly, don't bottle things up, etc. Of course, you can't keep a relationship alive without talking to your partner. How else would you get to know them, find out their likes and dislikes? And how else will you share your feelings, thoughts, goals and motivations with each other?

However, something that is often overlooked in communication is the art of listening. Being in a healthy relationship means you must be able to listen as much as you talk. Really, one person cannot be doing the talking all the time. At any point, somebody will be talking and somebody has to be listening, otherwise the communication is not complete. This is important in any relationship, but even more so in marriage.

In the early stages in a relationship, it's easy to take turns talking and listening because you are curious to know what the other person has to say to what you tell them, you hang onto their every word and enjoy listening to their voice. As you settle down into a long-tern relationship however, we get comfortable together and may develop some bad communication practices: you start getting used to hearing their voice, so you may unconsciously tune them out. Or you get into the habit of thinking you know what they are about to say anyway, so you don't bother to wait for them to finish their sentences. Or you listen to half of their sentence, before interrupting them with something else that you want to say. I'll tell you of a few examples of how easy it is to NOT listen.

Sometimes when hubby and I are discussing a topic that we both have strong feelings about, I've found that it is easy for both of us to talk about his/her own views, because we both want our views to be heard. Not listening to each other sometimes means that at the end of the day, a lot of words have been spoken, but nobody has taken anything new on board. Why? Because we were both talking at the same time and neither of us was listening.

Another thing that springs to mind is when hubby is trying to talk to me when I'm watching TV, chatting to my friends online or reading a book. Sometimes I just don't hear what he is saying. And sometimes I hear with my ears, but my brain doesn't register any information, so some time later, I'll have to ask, "Sorry what were you saying?"

Or another example: I'll ask hubby a question and he'll say yes. Later on he will ask me why I took the action I did and I'll tell him, "But I asked you and you said yes", and he'll say, "When did you ask me?". This means that he wasn't really listening when I was talking to him, he was distracted by something else that was going on.

Previously, I wasn't aware that I had to actually learn the art of listening. I thought those things come naturally as long as we had a healthy relationship. I now know that no matter how good a relationship is, there is always room for improvement. And I needed to improve my listening skills. Not listening to hubby has led to misunderstandings in the past, and a breakdown in our communication; things that I would rather avoid.

Some time ago, I read a chapter of The Marriage Book that dealt with communication: specifically on the topic of talking and listening (I would recommend reading it!). The authors talked about the things you need to do to be a good listener. One important thing is making the effort to give our partner our full attention. This is not as easy as it sounds. Imagine I'm watching my favourite TV show and hubby decides he wants to have a conversation. It will take a lot of effort on my part to switch off from the TV and turn my attention to what he's saying. And if I can't concentrate on what he's saying, it may be worth asking him to give me a few minutes till the end of the programme. But if it's something really important to him, then he should take priority over the TV show right?

Something else the chapter talked about was our body language. Usually when we are giving someone our full attention, we tend to use eye contact and other subconscious signals. If I'm talking to someone and they can't be bothered to look at me or show any signs of interest, then I'm likely to feel ignored. So I'm also learning to pay attention to my body language when I'm having an important conversation with hubby.

I could go on and on, but you get the picture. If we are thoughtful of the way we talk and listen to each other in a relationship, we will certainly benefit from better communication. I know I am getting better at listening now than I was a few years ago :)