WHILE YOU ARE WAITING-what to do?

I had a conversation with someone and they said this

"I share this because I know I’m not the only woman who has felt this. (If I am, lie to me.) I speak to countless of women who desire relationships, but have nowhere to turn other than work, church, and the internet. I believe there is nothing wrong with any of those arteries to love, but why do we shy away from assisting girlfriends in finding the owner of their rib?It is uncomfortable to discuss singleness and loneliness with married women because a very common response permeated almost every discussion. Oh, enjoy your alone time! Once you get married you will miss your freedom, they would almost always say.

Really?!
I’d trade in my freedom and designer denim for warmth in my bed and the ability to cuddle with something other than my books.
 I’m not suggesting church become a religious Match.com, more than I am desiring the doors of communication to open wide. If Eliezer could match-make for Issac, if Naomi could encourage Ruth to take a risk, and if God’s beautiful analogy for the church is the picture of marriage, why not embrace single girls and discuss desires, demands, and dreams?

The above and some questions i was given to answer made me write the points below on what you could do as you wait.
1. Be what you want to attract.
What type of person do you want in your life? You want a warm, funny, educated person. Ask yourself: Am I that person? Sometimes the qualities we seek in our future partner are things that we also need to work on ourselves. Often I think of God saying, when you hand him over your great big list of wants, ‘okay so you want all this for you, what have you got to offer?’
2. What do I deserve?
You deserve God’s best. When I was born He said ‘I was a good thing’. I am fearfully and wonderfully made. I am a priceless jewel who should treasured and look after.
If it looks like a skunk, walks like a skunk and smells like a skunk – it is a skunk.  To often we settle for 10% when our 100% is out there waiting for us.
Do not accept: bad behaviour in any shape or form. If he is behaving badly now, what makes you think he will change when you get together?
3. Get busy about life. Meet others who have things in common.
Live life to the fullest. Look at your gifts {usually what people celebrate that you think is nothing} and use them. A little thing can turn into a big thing, if you let God develop it. Know the value of your gift.
Develop your talents and don’t spend time ‘waiting’ around doing nothing, your single years are when you’re most free. You can do what you want, go where you want. Stay busy being purposeful.
‘Occupy until I come’. Luke 19:13.
4. Get into community with people.
God created us to love. Pour yourself out to people/children who need it whether it be your local church, your neighbours or any other group/charity where you can give back,get involved.
5. Build platonic relationships with the opposite sex.
Men are great to have as friends. They have a completely different perspective on life and can often offer practical ways to solve problems. Building platonic relationships helps you learn how to relate to them in a healthy way and understand the male psyche. Men are also great to have around when you have some heavy lifting to do!:):):)
6. Get your house in order.
This includes:
-  your finances: pay off as much debt as you can. No debt? Build up your savings?
- your health: you want to lose those extra 10kgs – go for it, you don’t need a man before you do it.
- career: go for that job, take that extra class; develop yourself.
It’s about having a vision of where you want to go, who you are and where you want to be.  Establish the quality of your life now – it sets the standard for when he arrives.
7. Pray and wait joyfully
Enjoy where you are right now. Pray for your mate. Stop asking for him – pray for him. Have an air of expectancy and stay open to the possibilities of change. 
Never take the day for granted; have an attitude of gratitude’. I’ve mentioned this before but having a daily journal where you record the things you are thank you can really helpful you stay focus on being thankful rather than ‘woe is me’.  Live in the present and stay thankful.
TRY AND WAIT JOYFULLY NOT MISERABLY..OK?

ADJUSTMENTS in marriage (the series..

One day Mr and I went shopping outside our town. It was just before Christmas, about five months after our wedding. At the mall, we bumped into a friend of mine. I decided to hang out with her, since Mr was getting bored already, so we parted ways and agreed to meet in a few hours. My friend and I shopped to our heart’s content and when we got tired; we went to a café and sat down to have a bite and a chat. As we sat down, she turned to me and asked, “So, FG I’ve been meaning to ask you. How is married life?”
I wanted to answer the question honestly, so I told her that married life is a lot of fun, but there are many adjustments to make. She asked me what kind of adjustments, and I told her that they were stuff you would never think of if you were a single girl living on your own and accountable to no one but yourself. I told her, “For example, when we were shopping just now, I had to be mindful about the clothes and underwear I was buying, because someone cares about them”. She found that really funny and said that she couldn’t imagine having to put someone else in the picture when making the smallest decisions such as the clothes she bought or what she wore underneath. I laughed and told her that it does take a long time to get used to.

Apart from that though, there were a few more “inconveniences” we had to work around, for example:

We had to learn to share the television fairly. Who knew that something that sounds so simple in theory can actually be very complicated? Mr and I have very different taste in TV programmes. I like watching dramas and sitcoms, he likes watching wild-life documentaries, sports and news debates. Even when we want to watch movies, his choices are always very different from mine. Cue arguments and accusations such as “change the channel, my show is on now!”….“But you’ve watched that show a hundred times; can I watch my own show now?”….. “Hey, you can’t change the channel; my show comes up in a minute”…… “Can we watch something else?”…… “Babe please change the channel, this show is boring!”…… etc. You get the picture (lol). How we manage to resolve it? Patience, patience, patience and compromise, as in seriously. Recently, reminders and one-hour-later channels have made a big difference too. LOL

One of my hobbies is listening to music. Preferably as loud as possible, with me singing along since I usually know all the lyrics by heart. To me, that’s one of the ways I relax and tune out stress. For example, after a long day at lectures or at work, when I get home, the first thing I do is to put on my CD player or my laptop and turn up the volume. Now this was fine until I got married and I had to factor in somebody else living in the same house as me. I got a shock one day when I was enjoying my music in the afternoon. Mr came into the living room and said I was making noise and he wanted some peace and quiet. I stared at him as if he wasn’t making sense. How could he call my music “noise” and ask me to turn it off? Did he not know that listening to music was one of my favourite things to do? We argued for ages but we still didn’t come to a resolution. I just couldn’t imagine giving up listening to music because of him. He suggested that I should use headphones. I grudgingly obliged but it was just not the same. Now though, I have learnt to leave the room he is in when I’ve got my music playing. And I make the most of it when he is not at home and I can turn it up as loud as I want to!
Something else that needed to be worked out was sharing the chores in the house. In this re gard, I must say I’ve not had much of a problem, as Mr gets stuck in with the housework and he doesn’t leave it all to just me. He doesn’t like dirt and grime so he would rather scrub the tub himself, for example, than wait for me to do it. We’ve got some unspoken rules as to who does what, but they are flexible depending on who got there first. And we don’t have a time-table as such so we just do our chores as and when necessary. Usually on Saturdays, he wakes up before me and starts tidying up and I’ll join him later. And sometimes, I take charge, make a list of what needs to be done and we share both the difficult and easy tasks accordingly. It works well for us right now, but I have a feeling that when we have kids, we will need to be clearer on who does what!

PS:Repping a friendie

THE LADY HER LOVER AND HER LORD

Adjusting to married life was a very interesting process in more ways than one. Sometimes I found myself wondering if every newly-wed couple had to go through the same process of adjusting like we did. And I wished someone could have told me what exactly to expect, so that I would feel like I was better prepared. You know how you ask your friends who recently got married, "So how is married life?" and they just say "It's fine, it's wonderful!". You wish they would say more, but you don't know how to ask. The truth is though, that no matter how much people tell you before, you have to experience some things for yourself.(i will emphasize that to the end,somethings you will learn on your own gurlie..liz ha!!)lol
 Here's an example of something I wish somebody told me earlier.

In my last three years as a single girl, I had developed a close relationship with God. I used to worship, pray and read my bible every day without fail. I enjoyed spending time in my Heavenly Father's presence as much as I could. I could pour out my heart to my God anytime and He always answered me. I always felt that I was God's special daughter and nothing could take away that wonderful relationship from me. God's love and His presence was always around me. My heavenly father was a big guiding factor in everything I did because I always made sure I consulted Him before making any big decisions. He was the main "man" in my life and my world revolved around Him.

A few months after I finished my Masters degree and moved back home, I suddenly noticed something odd. Something was definitely different in my Christian life, God was out! I had gotten so excited about having a new permanent man in my life that I had edged God out and didn't crave His presence anymore. In the middle of adjusting to married life, having a husband and becoming a wife, my heavenly Father had taken a back seat! My time, my focus and my mind was now filled with thoughts of my husband 24/7 that I didn't have time for God anymore. In essence, I had replaced God with hubby. At first I was slightly worried but I didn't know what to do. I didn't think I had done it on purpose, it just happened that way..... I didn't know whether to feel guilty about it or not..... I didn't know whether this was quite a normal thing to happen to other newlywed brides...... I didn't know whether it was just me getting carried away with my new status. So I didn't do anything, I didn't even discuss it with hubby.

As time went on though, I began to question myself. Why have I replaced God with my husband? Isn't that dangerous? Hubby might be a good man and all, but really nobody can and should take the place of God in my life. I couldn't even pray any more because I had lost the urge to! So I started fretting and making myself confused and worried. Until one day I decided to call my pastor's wife to ask her if she had experienced the same thing when she first got married. I hoped she would then be able to give me some advice. When I called the pastor, I asked to speak to his wife but she was not around. He could tell I was distressed about something so he asked what the matter was. I told him everything I had been feeling and surprisingly he laughed! He said it was alright and God understands, and He was not angry with me for working on bonding with my husband. He also said that the fact that I'm worried about it shows that I am missing something, so I should just relax and allow myself to slowly get back in tune with God.
It was such a relief to hear that! Afterwards I went to pray and it was something along the lines of: "Lord please help me, it's no more just me and You, it's now Me, You and Him so I need Your wisdom to guide me so I can balance having both of you in my life".

About a week later, I was chatting online to a friend of mine from uni and she asked me how married life was going. I told her what I had recently prayed about. To my surprise she said that in her fellowship group, there was a newly-wed lady who recently shared with them about going through the exact same thing! The lady said that she also felt guilty for spending all her time with her husband and not enough time with God anymore! I was really glad to hear this. I felt like it was God's way of telling me that I'm not alone and it's quite normal!


Thankfully with time, prayers and patience I got back in touch with God and I've been able to balance both relationships. God now has His rightful place in my life, and hubby has his right place in my life too. Hubby and I now have our separate quiet time with God, and then have our couple time with God together. It makes me wonder though, how much adjusting I would have to do when children come into the relationship and I have to divide my time, attention and focus even more.

PS;dug this out from archives as told by my old friendie :)lol