ALL COUPLES FIGHT!!

I like my topic,all couples fight!good couples fight clean,bad couples fight dirty.fighting dirty can be from hitting below the belt to you throw a pen to me,i throw 2pens to you,you throw a book,a throw a cup,you throw a slipper,i throw a shoe,you throw a stool..lol..i squeeze you with our 6 by 6 bed at the corner...muhaha.I call you bugger,you call me stupid,i tell you good for nothing.you call me senseless,mean,i hate you...bla bla bla..i hope you get my drift dirty  fighting escalates as fast as a Boeing 777 on a good day.

Funny thing is in the ideal head of some people,Christian couples don't fight,I was talking to some lady and she told me her she can t imagine fighting with her hubby,that she will always be praying to God to be an awesome wise not quarrelsome nor a fighter...Good for you buddy!!lets talk when you cross over that was my response!

Thing is as long as we are human,different backgrounds,personalities,preference et all at one point or another we shall disagree not once not twice however deeply in love we are hence!!ALL COUPLES FIGHT.good couples fight clean bad couples fight dirty..I have a million examples on top of my head of when we've had conflict with the hubs..of when each of us responded maturely or immaturely but that's a story for another day..its like 0200hrs..and that's not the aim of my post today.

Today I am talking about conflict resolution,not that i have perfected it but that I am still learning and enjoying the lessons.

Resolving conflicts requires forgiveness-Giving up the right to punish the one who wronged you.This is the miracle of the Christian life-that we can heal our relationships with others with others in the same way christ healed our relationship with him-through forgiveness.

AUTHENTIC COMMUNICATION is much more than just talking,its understanding,being understood,identifying a tone of voice,detecting non verbal cues,responding appropriately to offence,resolving conflicts,knowing what to say,when to say it and how to say it.
It is experiencing the risks of and rewards of knowing and being known.
*Authentic communication means that the listener employs clarifying and summary questions.
*Resolving conflict requires a determination to lovingly confront each other.
*Resolving conflict requires forgiveness


"Be angry and yet do not in;do not let the sun go down on your anger(eph4:26)

The Bible has much to say about the act of communicating ,because God knew it would not be a skill that comes easily for us .we've got to work at it.But in doing so,we grow in our dependence upon him and in our relationship with others.

In marriage,it's common for both individuals to react to conflict in different ways.which one are you??n what do you need to do?lol

FIGHT TO WIN:This is the "I won,you lose,or I'm right,you're wrong" position.You seek to dominate the other person;personal relationships take second place to the need of triumph.

WITHDRAW:You seek to avoid discomfort at all costs,saying,I'm uncomfortable,so il get out."You see no hope of resolving the conflict,or you lack the strength to confront it.So you cope by giving your mate the silent treatment.

YIELD:You assume it is fare better to go along with the other person's demands than to risk a confrontation.Rather than start another argument,you say,"whatever you want is fine."To you,a safe feeling is more important than a close relationship.

LOVINGLY RESOLVE:You commit to resolving the conflict by taking steps to carefully and sensitively discuss the issue.Resolving a conflict requires a special attitude-one of humility,of placing the relationship at a higher priority than the conflict itself.(what goes the relationship or the issue?)You value your relationship more than winning or losing,escaping or feeling comfortable.

With three of these styles,you actually create as many problems as you solve.Fighting to win,withdrawing or yielding may allow you to deal temporarily with the conflict at hand,but you haven't dealt with the emotions the conflict sparked-the hurt,the resentment and the anger.Only when you seek to confront each other in a loving way will you resolve a conflict.

Let us strive,go back to the basics of communication skills..strive to understand and be understood,you don't have to raise your voice to be heard!D:)Let us strive to reduce on the number of mama drama and baba drama.*i can write a book on mama drama*points to self*

29 Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.eph4:29

James 1:19-My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry,

A Time for Everything

1 There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven: 

OPERATION 2014!HAPPY NEW YEAR?YES!

Happy new year.Over the years i have learned that it seizes being a new year when i get to meet you for the second time between jan and April.If ibumped into you in mid march and that is the first time i am seeing you that year,then i would greet you in the name of"happynewyear"P
My friend back at artlifeneema.blogspot.com has come up with a list of 100 things she wants to accomplish this year,that is ambitious for me ,i will remember to follow her up on this story in like 04months time to see how she is doing in that regard..it will be fun to hear.I personally havent written down a list but i think i should just write my desires and requests fo this year in my 2014 all important stuff journal,it will be fun to read through come December this year.One of the things that i have intentionally done in this new year was to deactivate my facebook account,not that i was super active,or an addict,but lets just say fbk has power:)D,so my main reason for this is so that i make good use of my cell phone,i want to get the phone and dial a friend's number and just hit vybe,and vice versa.I do not want to be complacent with seeing your fb status update,your selfie photos,your tagged photos some of your wall posts,like some,comment on others and assume that you are well,that we are still friends,that im uppdated on whats cutting in your life coz of foursquare"fridz checked in at jkia arrival lounge,so yah!!one my 2014 activities is to be less on fb n more on my phone calling and texting..so far soooooo goooood,this far i have visited with a few,i have texted n called n i have been visited and yeeeah,it feels sooo nice and fullfilling:)bonding and catching up,i love fellowship.Toast to a year of NOT FORSAKING FELLOWSHIP!

Project Merry-go-round...I want to accomplish two things that are major for me and they require mony like more than 20k..so what i did i got 05pals,sold to them the idea of a chama/merry go round..5k per month 06 ladies..meaning you get 30keach twice a year..i can hardly wait for this to be fruitful n for me to fullfill my goals.

Project Titus2:One of the verses that is close to my heart)T2),so this year,i intentionally got together a few of my younger lady friends and started a bible study with them,we shall strictly be meeting once in every two months for a time of sharing,bonding and praying((( but how can you be the salt if you never get out of the shaker,the light if you are covered with a bushel basket,and the leaven if you never get into the loaf?Its time to let God fully have his way with us..

Project make use of my camera..Doing receipes and documenting,trying crazy stuff in the kitchen"1st seen in Fridz's kitchen,soon putting a few of my recipes up on this page n guess what??im having one of my pals come with like 4of her other friends for a cookout in my house on one of the friday's in february??aint that cool??this operation fbk out is doing me some goood.meeting people

Project colour my hair maroon..whole head!nuff said!

Before i get to Esther Neema's 100 mark,let me penoff and do some reading!
blessings

But how can you be the salt if you never get out of the shaker, the light if you are covered with a bushel basket, and the leaven if you never get into the loaf? It is time to let God have His way fully with us, to surrender absolutely to His plan for our lives. - See more at: http://www.titus2minutes.com/#sthash.T1CY3lHE.dpuf

But how can you be the salt if you never get out of the shaker, the light if you are covered with a bushel basket, and the leaven if you never get into the loaf? It is time to let God have His way fully with us, to surrender absolutely to His plan for our lives. - See more at: http://www.titus2minutes.com/#sthash.T1CY3lHE.dpuf

But how can you be the salt if you never get out of the shaker, the light if you are covered with a bushel basket, and the leaven if you never get into the loaf? It is time to let God have His way fully with us, to surrender absolutely to His plan for our lives. - See more at: http://www.titus2minutes.com/#sthash.T1CY3lHE.dpuf

But how can you be the salt if you never get out of the shaker, the light if you are covered with a bushel basket, and the leaven if you never get into the loaf? It is time to let God have His way fully with us, to surrender absolutely to His plan for our lives. - See more at: http://www.titus2minutes.com/#sthash.T1CY3lHE.dpuf

But how can you be the salt if you never get out of the shaker, the light if you are covered with a bushel basket, and the leaven if you never get into the loaf? It is time to let God have His way fully with us, to surrender absolutely to His plan for our lives. - See more at: http://www.titus2minutes.com/#sthash.T1CY3lHE.dpuf

But how can you be the salt if you never get out of the shaker, the light if you are covered with a bushel basket, and the leaven if you never get into the loaf? It is time to let God have His way fully with us, to surrender absolutely to His plan for our lives. - See more at: http://www.titus2minutes.com/#sthash.T1CY3lHE.dpuf

I am convinced that we can change the nation by responding to God’s call. But how can you be the salt if you never get out of the shaker, the light if you are covered with a bushel basket, and the leaven if you never get into the loaf? It is time to let God have His way fully with us, to surrender absolutely to His plan for our lives. - See more at: http://www.titus2minutes.com/#sthash.T1CY3lHE.dpuf

I am convinced that we can change the nation by responding to God’s call. But how can you be the salt if you never get out of the shaker, the light if you are covered with a bushel basket, and the leaven if you never get into the loaf? It is time to let God have His way fully with us, to surrender absolutely to His plan for our lives. - See more at: http://www.titus2minutes.com/#sthash.T1CY3lHE.dpuf

I am convinced that we can change the nation by responding to God’s call. But how can you be the salt if you never get out of the shaker, the light if you are covered with a bushel basket, and the leaven if you never get into the loaf? It is time to let God have His way fully with us, to surrender absolutely to His plan for our lives. - See more at: http://www.titus2minutes.com/#sthash.T1CY3lHE.dpuf

AN EGG,A CARROT AND COFFEE

Story

A young woman went to her mother and told her about her life and how things were so hard for her.

She did not know how she was going to make it and wanted to give up. She was tired of fighting and struggling. It seemed as one problem was solved, a new one arose.

Have you ever felt that way?

-- Job 14:1 Man that is born of a woman is of few days, and full of trouble.

Her mother took her to the kitchen.
She filled three pots with water and placed each on a high fire.
Soon the pots came to boil.

In the first she placed carrots, in the second she placed eggs, and in the last she placed ground coffee beans. She let them sit and boil, without saying a word.

In about twenty minutes she turned off the burners.
She fished the carrots out and placed them in a bowl.
She pulled the eggs out and placed them in a bowl.
Then she ladled the coffee out and placed it in a bowl.

Turning to her daughter, she asked, "Tell me, what you see?"

"Carrots, eggs, and coffee," she replied. Her mother brought her closer and asked her to feel the carrots.

She did and noted that they were soft. The mother then asked the daughter to take an egg and break it.
After pulling off the shell, she observed the hard boiled egg. Finally, the mother asked the daughter to sip the coffee. The daughter smiled as she tasted its rich aroma. The daughter then asked, "What does it mean, mother?"

Her mother explained that each of these objects had faced the same adversity ... boiling water. Each reacted differently.
The carrot went in strong, hard, and unrelenting. However, after being subjected to the boiling water, it softened and became weak.
The egg had been fragile. Its thin outer shell had protected its liquid interior, but after sitting through the boiling water, its inside became hardened.

The ground coffee beans were unique, however. After they were in the boiling water, they had changed the water.
"Which are you?" she asked her daughter. "When adversity knocks on your door, how do you respond?

CA-MA-RA-DE-RIE

noun: 

1.

mutual trust and friendship among people who spend a lot of time together.

"a genuine camaraderie on the hockey team"

 camaraderie [ˌkæməˈrɑːdərɪ]n a spirit of familiarity and trust existing between friends

I remember in high school when i first learned this word.tihihi i had to force it into one of my compositions and used it wrongly and lets just say the teacher i wanted to impress was impressed Not.muhaha.  ,Another word was pandemonium..tihihi,hee story for another day with my wordiness.if there is such a word

The Bright and Dull of Life After Campus: GRANDPA DIARIES(AND WHY YOU SHOULD JUST GET YOUR O...

The Bright and Dull of Life After Campus: GRANDPA DIARIES(AND WHY YOU SHOULD JUST GET YOUR O...: Now should I bring a man home, that my father is wondering whether to call brother in law or son in law, but worse father in law. Then I wi...

21 Things I Want to Tell Younger Wives

What would I tell you?

Now that we’ve been married for 21 years. We’ve laughed together, cried together, slept together, raised children together, and have walked together for over two decades.

That’s a lot of together – don’t ya think?

Yeah, that’s what I thought too. Two people who’ve been loving each other for a long time. And it’s no small thing. I can see that.

So here I am wondering what I could offer and the advice that I’d give. What has worked and what’s helped us through the hard times? What has brought us this far? And what will keep us loving each other in the years to come?

Since we’re celebrating our 21st anniversary – by the grace of God – here are 21 things I’d tell you…

1. Hold hands whenever you can. We do and always have. We’ll clasp hands when sitting next to each other on the couch, while we’re driving along in the car, and when we’re out walking. A simple connecting that goes a long way.

2.  Pray for him every day. Faithfully. What better gift than to offer up a prayer for him? Ask God to bless him, protect him, and work in his life.

3.  Look for the many ways to love on him. Small gifts and thoughtful gestures.  Those little things that say, I love you and I’m thinking of you.

4.  Make friends with people who’ll encourage your marriage. Surround yourself with those who will support and pray for you both as you grow together.

5.  And avoid those who pull against you. If they were friends, I’d ditch them altogether. It’s harder with extended family members, but I’d dodge those as much as possible too.

6.  Go to the Word of God for the best marriage counseling. You can get good advice from others, but there’s no replacing the loving, powerful Truth to be found in Scripture.

7. Cultivate your friendship. Marriage isn’t merely a business deal.

8.  Never give up on each other. People go through difficult seasons and we get to persevere through them. Don’t let go.

9.  Confess your sins to one another. Doesn’t help to smooth it over; instead repent and ask forgiveness. (Jas. 5:16)

10.  And then forgive freely. (Col. 3:13)

11.  Be patient with him. Love is long-suffering, remember? (I Cor. 13:4)

12.  Show him respect.  It’s in the Bible. And it’s what he needs (Col. 3:18).

13.  Leave off with the complaining. It only drags the both of you down (Phil. 2:14).

14.  Focus on those things which are true, pure, and lovely. (Phil. 4:8)

15.  Put on love. Above all things.  (Col. 3:14)

16.  Let the little annoyances go. Is it really worth bothering about? Probably not.

17.  Keep the home fires burning. Intimacy is still important. Yes, even after 21 years.

18.  Stand by your man. You’ll probably find loyalty toward the top of his list. 

19.  Make loving him your priority. Over your job, your friends, your extended family.  Even over your children.

20.  Give him – and yourself – room to grow. I know that we’re not done growing yet and I’m guessing you two aren’t either.

21.  Decide you’re going to stick together.   With God’s help, you’re going to stay together throughout the years.

How did we celebrate our anniversary this year? Nothing too fancy, really. We began the day by having coffee together, like we’ve done most every morning for 21 years. Then we took off for a 3-mile hike down the canyon path near our home. Holding hands and talking all the while.

Walking together and loving each other. All these years.

And that’s something worth celebrating. 

Don’t ya think?

In His grace,

- See more at: http://timewarpwife.com/?p=72#sthash.twsdFTsN.dpuf

heya..i'm tempted to say"look what mama gotchya..but assume i dint write that and instead i wrote"look what i found!P:)



 

What would I tell you?

Now that we’ve been married for 21 years. We’ve laughed together, cried together, slept together, raised children together, and have walked together for over two decades.

That’s a lot of together – don’t ya think?

Yeah, that’s what I thought too. Two people who’ve been loving each other for a long time. And it’s no small thing. I can see that.

So here I am wondering what I could offer and the advice that I’d give. What has worked and what’s helped us through the hard times? What has brought us this far? And what will keep us loving each other in the years to come?

Since we’re celebrating our 21st anniversary – by the grace of God – here are 21 things I’d tell you…

1. Hold hands whenever you can. We do and always have. We’ll clasp hands when sitting next to each other on the couch, while we’re driving along in the car, and when we’re out walking. A simple connecting that goes a long way.

2.  Pray for him every day. Faithfully. What better gift than to offer up a prayer for him? Ask God to bless him, protect him, and work in his life.

3.  Look for the many ways to love on him. Small gifts and thoughtful gestures.  Those little things that say, I love you and I’m thinking of you.

4.  Make friends with people who’ll encourage your marriage. Surround yourself with those who will support and pray for you both as you grow together.

5.  And avoid those who pull against you. If they were friends, I’d ditch them altogether. It’s harder with extended family members, but I’d dodge those as much as possible too.

6.  Go to the Word of God for the best marriage counseling. You can get good advice from others, but there’s no replacing the loving, powerful Truth to be found in Scripture.

7. Cultivate your friendship. Marriage isn’t merely a business deal.

8.  Never give up on each other. People go through difficult seasons and we get to persevere through them. Don’t let go.

9.  Confess your sins to one another. Doesn’t help to smooth it over; instead repent and ask forgiveness. (Jas. 5:16)

10.  And then forgive freely. (Col. 3:13)

11.  Be patient with him. Love is long-suffering, remember? (I Cor. 13:4)

12.  Show him respect.  It’s in the Bible. And it’s what he needs (Col. 3:18).

13.  Leave off with the complaining. It only drags the both of you down (Phil. 2:14).

14.  Focus on those things which are true, pure, and lovely. (Phil. 4:8)

15.  Put on love. Above all things.  (Col. 3:14)

16.  Let the little annoyances go. Is it really worth bothering about? Probably not.

17.  Keep the home fires burning. Intimacy is still important. Yes, even after 21 years.

18.  Stand by your man. You’ll probably find loyalty toward the top of his list. 

19.  Make loving him your priority. Over your job, your friends, your extended family.  Even over your children.

20.  Give him – and yourself – room to grow. I know that we’re not done growing yet and I’m guessing you two aren’t either.

21.  Decide you’re going to stick together.   With God’s help, you’re going to stay together throughout the years.

How did we celebrate our anniversary this year? Nothing too fancy, really. We began the day by having coffee together, like we’ve done most every morning for 21 years. Then we took off for a 3-mile hike down the canyon path near our home. Holding hands and talking all the while.

Walking together and loving each other. All these years.

And that’s something worth celebrating.

Don’t ya think?

In His grace,

- See more at: http://timewarpwife.com/?p=72#sthash.twsdFTsN.dpuf

What would I tell you?

Now that we’ve been married for 21 years. We’ve laughed together, cried together, slept together, raised children together, and have walked together for over two decades.

That’s a lot of together – don’t ya think?

Yeah, that’s what I thought too. Two people who’ve been loving each other for a long time. And it’s no small thing. I can see that.

So here I am wondering what I could offer and the advice that I’d give. What has worked and what’s helped us through the hard times? What has brought us this far? And what will keep us loving each other in the years to come?

Since we’re celebrating our 21st anniversary – by the grace of God – here are 21 things I’d tell you…

1. Hold hands whenever you can. We do and always have. We’ll clasp hands when sitting next to each other on the couch, while we’re driving along in the car, and when we’re out walking. A simple connecting that goes a long way.

2.  Pray for him every day. Faithfully. What better gift than to offer up a prayer for him? Ask God to bless him, protect him, and work in his life.

3.  Look for the many ways to love on him. Small gifts and thoughtful gestures.  Those little things that say, I love you and I’m thinking of you.

4.  Make friends with people who’ll encourage your marriage. Surround yourself with those who will support and pray for you both as you grow together.

5.  And avoid those who pull against you. If they were friends, I’d ditch them altogether. It’s harder with extended family members, but I’d dodge those as much as possible too.

6.  Go to the Word of God for the best marriage counseling. You can get good advice from others, but there’s no replacing the loving, powerful Truth to be found in Scripture.

7. Cultivate your friendship. Marriage isn’t merely a business deal.

8.  Never give up on each other. People go through difficult seasons and we get to persevere through them. Don’t let go.

9.  Confess your sins to one another. Doesn’t help to smooth it over; instead repent and ask forgiveness. (Jas. 5:16)

10.  And then forgive freely. (Col. 3:13)

11.  Be patient with him. Love is long-suffering, remember? (I Cor. 13:4)

12.  Show him respect.  It’s in the Bible. And it’s what he needs (Col. 3:18).

13.  Leave off with the complaining. It only drags the both of you down (Phil. 2:14).

14.  Focus on those things which are true, pure, and lovely. (Phil. 4:8)

15.  Put on love. Above all things.  (Col. 3:14)

16.  Let the little annoyances go. Is it really worth bothering about? Probably not.

17.  Keep the home fires burning. Intimacy is still important. Yes, even after 21 years.

18.  Stand by your man. You’ll probably find loyalty toward the top of his list. 

19.  Make loving him your priority. Over your job, your friends, your extended family.  Even over your children.

20.  Give him – and yourself – room to grow. I know that we’re not done growing yet and I’m guessing you two aren’t either.

21.  Decide you’re going to stick together.   With God’s help, you’re going to stay together throughout the years.

How did we celebrate our anniversary this year? Nothing too fancy, really. We began the day by having coffee together, like we’ve done most every morning for 21 years. Then we took off for a 3-mile hike down the canyon path near our home. Holding hands and talking all the while.

Walking together and loving each other. All these years.

And that’s something worth celebrating.

Don’t ya think?

In His grace,

- See more at: http://timewarpwife.com/?p=72#sthash.twsdFTsN.dpuf

What would I tell you?

Now that we’ve been married for 21 years. We’ve laughed together, cried together, slept together, raised children together, and have walked together for over two decades.

That’s a lot of together – don’t ya think?

Yeah, that’s what I thought too. Two people who’ve been loving each other for a long time. And it’s no small thing. I can see that.

So here I am wondering what I could offer and the advice that I’d give. What has worked and what’s helped us through the hard times? What has brought us this far? And what will keep us loving each other in the years to come?

Since we’re celebrating our 21st anniversary – by the grace of God – here are 21 things I’d tell you…

1. Hold hands whenever you can. We do and always have. We’ll clasp hands when sitting next to each other on the couch, while we’re driving along in the car, and when we’re out walking. A simple connecting that goes a long way.

2.  Pray for him every day. Faithfully. What better gift than to offer up a prayer for him? Ask God to bless him, protect him, and work in his life.

3.  Look for the many ways to love on him. Small gifts and thoughtful gestures.  Those little things that say, I love you and I’m thinking of you.

4.  Make friends with people who’ll encourage your marriage. Surround yourself with those who will support and pray for you both as you grow together.

5.  And avoid those who pull against you. If they were friends, I’d ditch them altogether. It’s harder with extended family members, but I’d dodge those as much as possible too.

6.  Go to the Word of God for the best marriage counseling. You can get good advice from others, but there’s no replacing the loving, powerful Truth to be found in Scripture.

7. Cultivate your friendship. Marriage isn’t merely a business deal.

8.  Never give up on each other. People go through difficult seasons and we get to persevere through them. Don’t let go.

9.  Confess your sins to one another. Doesn’t help to smooth it over; instead repent and ask forgiveness. (Jas. 5:16)

10.  And then forgive freely. (Col. 3:13)

11.  Be patient with him. Love is long-suffering, remember? (I Cor. 13:4)

12.  Show him respect.  It’s in the Bible. And it’s what he needs (Col. 3:18).

13.  Leave off with the complaining. It only drags the both of you down (Phil. 2:14).

14.  Focus on those things which are true, pure, and lovely. (Phil. 4:8)

15.  Put on love. Above all things.  (Col. 3:14)

16.  Let the little annoyances go. Is it really worth bothering about? Probably not.

17.  Keep the home fires burning. Intimacy is still important. Yes, even after 21 years.

18.  Stand by your man. You’ll probably find loyalty toward the top of his list. 

19.  Make loving him your priority. Over your job, your friends, your extended family.  Even over your children.

20.  Give him – and yourself – room to grow. I know that we’re not done growing yet and I’m guessing you two aren’t either.

21.  Decide you’re going to stick together.   With God’s help, you’re going to stay together throughout the years.

Don’t ya think?

In His grace,

What would I tell you?

Now that we’ve been married for 21 years. We’ve laughed together, cried together, slept together, raised children together, and have walked together for over two decades.

That’s a lot of together – don’t ya think?

Yeah, that’s what I thought too. Two people who’ve been loving each other for a long time. And it’s no small thing. I can see that.

So here I am wondering what I could offer and the advice that I’d give. What has worked and what’s helped us through the hard times? What has brought us this far? And what will keep us loving each other in the years to come?

Since we’re celebrating our 21st anniversary – by the grace of God – here are 21 things I’d tell you…

1. Hold hands whenever you can. We do and always have. We’ll clasp hands when sitting next to each other on the couch, while we’re driving along in the car, and when we’re out walking. A simple connecting that goes a long way.

2.  Pray for him every day. Faithfully. What better gift than to offer up a prayer for him? Ask God to bless him, protect him, and work in his life.

3.  Look for the many ways to love on him. Small gifts and thoughtful gestures.  Those little things that say, I love you and I’m thinking of you.

4.  Make friends with people who’ll encourage your marriage. Surround yourself with those who will support and pray for you both as you grow together.

5.  And avoid those who pull against you. If they were friends, I’d ditch them altogether. It’s harder with extended family members, but I’d dodge those as much as possible too.

6.  Go to the Word of God for the best marriage counseling. You can get good advice from others, but there’s no replacing the loving, powerful Truth to be found in Scripture.

7. Cultivate your friendship. Marriage isn’t merely a business deal.

8.  Never give up on each other. People go through difficult seasons and we get to persevere through them. Don’t let go.

9.  Confess your sins to one another. Doesn’t help to smooth it over; instead repent and ask forgiveness. (Jas. 5:16)

10.  And then forgive freely. (Col. 3:13)

11.  Be patient with him. Love is long-suffering, remember? (I Cor. 13:4)

12.  Show him respect.  It’s in the Bible. And it’s what he needs (Col. 3:18).

13.  Leave off with the complaining. It only drags the both of you down (Phil. 2:14).

14.  Focus on those things which are true, pure, and lovely. (Phil. 4:8)

15.  Put on love. Above all things.  (Col. 3:14)

16.  Let the little annoyances go. Is it really worth bothering about? Probably not.

17.  Keep the home fires burning. Intimacy is still important. Yes, even after 21 years.

18.  Stand by your man. You’ll probably find loyalty toward the top of his list. 

19.  Make loving him your priority. Over your job, your friends, your extended family.  Even over your children.

20.  Give him – and yourself – room to grow. I know that we’re not done growing yet and I’m guessing you two aren’t either.

21.  Decide you’re going to stick together.   With God’s help, you’re going to stay together throughout the years.

How did we celebrate our anniversary this year? Nothing too fancy, really. We began the day by having coffee together, like we’ve done most every morning for 21 years. Then we took off for a 3-mile hike down the canyon path near our home. Holding hands and talking all the while.

Walking together and loving each other. All these years.

And that’s something worth celebrating.

Don’t ya think?

In His grace,

- See more at: http://timewarpwife.com/?p=72#sthash.twsdFTsN.dpuf

What would I tell you?

Now that we’ve been married for 21 years. We’ve laughed together, cried together, slept together, raised children together, and have walked together for over two decades.

That’s a lot of together – don’t ya think?

Yeah, that’s what I thought too. Two people who’ve been loving each other for a long time. And it’s no small thing. I can see that.

So here I am wondering what I could offer and the advice that I’d give. What has worked and what’s helped us through the hard times? What has brought us this far? And what will keep us loving each other in the years to come?

Since we’re celebrating our 21st anniversary – by the grace of God – here are 21 things I’d tell you…

1. Hold hands whenever you can. We do and always have. We’ll clasp hands when sitting next to each other on the couch, while we’re driving along in the car, and when we’re out walking. A simple connecting that goes a long way.

2.  Pray for him every day. Faithfully. What better gift than to offer up a prayer for him? Ask God to bless him, protect him, and work in his life.

3.  Look for the many ways to love on him. Small gifts and thoughtful gestures.  Those little things that say, I love you and I’m thinking of you.

4.  Make friends with people who’ll encourage your marriage. Surround yourself with those who will support and pray for you both as you grow together.

5.  And avoid those who pull against you. If they were friends, I’d ditch them altogether. It’s harder with extended family members, but I’d dodge those as much as possible too.

6.  Go to the Word of God for the best marriage counseling. You can get good advice from others, but there’s no replacing the loving, powerful Truth to be found in Scripture.

7. Cultivate your friendship. Marriage isn’t merely a business deal.

8.  Never give up on each other. People go through difficult seasons and we get to persevere through them. Don’t let go.

9.  Confess your sins to one another. Doesn’t help to smooth it over; instead repent and ask forgiveness. (Jas. 5:16)

10.  And then forgive freely. (Col. 3:13)

11.  Be patient with him. Love is long-suffering, remember? (I Cor. 13:4)

12.  Show him respect.  It’s in the Bible. And it’s what he needs (Col. 3:18).

13.  Leave off with the complaining. It only drags the both of you down (Phil. 2:14).

14.  Focus on those things which are true, pure, and lovely. (Phil. 4:8)

15.  Put on love. Above all things.  (Col. 3:14)

16.  Let the little annoyances go. Is it really worth bothering about? Probably not.

17.  Keep the home fires burning. Intimacy is still important. Yes, even after 21 years.

18.  Stand by your man. You’ll probably find loyalty toward the top of his list. 

19.  Make loving him your priority. Over your job, your friends, your extended family.  Even over your children.

20.  Give him – and yourself – room to grow. I know that we’re not done growing yet and I’m guessing you two aren’t either.

21.  Decide you’re going to stick together.   With God’s help, you’re going to stay together throughout the years.

How did we celebrate our anniversary this year? Nothing too fancy, really. We began the day by having coffee together, like we’ve done most every morning for 21 years. Then we took off for a 3-mile hike down the canyon path near our home. Holding hands and talking all the while.

Walking together and loving each other. All these years.

And that’s something worth celebrating.

Don’t ya think?

In His grace,

- See more at: http://timewarpwife.com/?p=72#sthash.twsdFTsN.dpuf

Good Men are Found in Good Places

By KagiriWaithera

IN CHURCH sisters are complaining the brothers are boring, out there Women claim the men are irresponsible and non committal.
College girls say their fellow men r broke n young, in offices LADIES will tell you their colleague r dating younger women.
Where are good men? Is it true that good men are no longer available?
Ironically women outside church are now said to be flocking churches in search of good men while inside churches many sisters will tell you that Christian men are boring and not marriage material.


Many Sisters in church want to justify why they have to give in to a secular guys who are more fun as opposed to the dull unresponsive brothers.
In and out of church I have constantly heard this statement: “I never meet good men.”
Listening to men there is now a new cliché of: “you rarely meet a good woman; most will follow you for your money.” Those with well to do careers and stable financially are now accused of following vulnerable men to kill boredom.
If I was God I would pair up all the single men and women searching for partners and help them live happily thereafter, but since I am not the best I can do is spread the gospel of hope.
Among my friends are good bachelors and good spinsters all desiring life partners and often I am so tempted to hook them up but again I am not a matchmaker, there is one in heaven. What is a fact is that whereas I cannot authoritatively give the numbers of the available good men I certainly know that there are some good ones out there.
At times I think that the problem is where our women are looking for the good men. I am not sure you will get some good men in the smoky bar or at the bus stop or at your pity party girls Friday night out.
In most times good men are found by default in college, in the line of duty, service or as you serve God. It is sad to hear women cry they don’t find good men whereas when they won’t show up at team building events or when they are sent to represent the company at a corporate event they leave as soon as they register their names.
It is sad to see the same sisters who complain that there are no good men in church never turn up for Church retreats, weddings or evangelism missions.
I don’t in any way suggest that you attend these activities with the sole mission of netting a good man but you can be sure as you interact in class, at work, a corporate or in church your chances of getting a good man are higher. It is never a shock of how fast relationships made in the bar or the matatu break as compared to the number of couples who met in school or church service.
Isn’t sad when you see girls screaming wildly as they give themselves over to celebrity musicians? I got no problem with having fun at a gig but at least preserve your dignity. I am sure no good man will want you around them after seeing you giving yourself over like a desperado. Interesting enough even those you were raving with will not look at you twice when they are sober.
Good men are not always the bubbly fun loving guys around and in most cases it needs us to take time to learn people to know them.  Most of them are at times wrapped in boring outlook and not so outgoing personalities but once you take time to learn them you discover the gem inside them.
We need to shift our mindset from the love at first sight of the bus stop, atm lobby or on the streets to the gradual kind of love. Let’s embrace the spirit of growing in love which happens when we take time to interact with people on events separate from ‘hunting missions.’
Better a boring man who is home with you and the children and friends other than the fun loving who is always on the move to the next fun town.
Have you ever wondered why men who meet wives in the bar won’t want you close a bar after marrying you? Because they know that often nothing good comes from it.
It is surprising that there is a category of women who want good men who will provide, love them and offer security yet they are not putting effort to be good women. A good man is often attracted to a good woman who knows how to care, keep a home, be submissive and have the qualities of bringing up a responsible family.
In seldom times kind men at a bus stop, a crime scene, rainy day in town or inside a dark elevator under a black out turn out to be spouses but these are rare times, good men are found in good places!
If you want a good man, be a good woman and be in a good place, you are most likely to get one.
Above all I am a firm believer that “all good things come from God” and he graciously gives to those who genuinely ask him.